Take Me To Church Parody - Take Me To Lunch

I had the three choruses planned out perfectly for 5+ years. I finally sat down and constructed the verses or day. Originally, all three verses were going to be the same; they were going to be the lunch version (hence the name) because that's the one I thought of first. I eventually decided to do three different choruses with three different meal courses. The first verse consists of snippets from before meal prayers I found online. I always had that idea because the first verse in the original end with Amen three times. So I wanted prayers which also end the same. I know Hozier says Amen only three times, but four fits.

Original: Take Me To Church by Hozier https://youtu.be/NGNk6u_kLsosi=p7UdN1QE1m2ijzHC

Take Me To Lunch

Thank you Lord for this food

That we are about to receive

May it nourish our bodies

And may it strengthen our spirits

We thank You for this food

And for those who have prepared it

God is good, and God is great

And we thank Him for our food

By His holy hand

We are all fed

Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts

Which we are about to receive

Bless our bodies, bless this food

And bless the hands that have prepared it

We give thanks for all we receive

In all things we pray

Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen

Take me to brunch

I'll slobber like a dog at the sight of your grits

Go ahead and mix in my eggs some bacon bits

Offer me that breakfast bar

Goodness I am hungry alright

Take me to brunch

I'll slobber like a dog at the sight of your grits

Go ahead and mix in my eggs some bacon bits

Offer me that breakfast bar

Goodness I am hungry alright

I can never wait for mealtime

I'm hungry all the time

Snacks never hold me over

They just make me hungrier

Empty the fridge

What is for dinner

Something meaty for the main course

I could eat a whole horse

What you got in the pantry

I am really starving badly

Need something tasty. And plenty

I'm a hungry man

Take me to lunch

I'll slobber like a dog at the sight of your fries

I'll tell you my order and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that combo meal

Goodness I am hungry alright

Take me to lunch

I'll slobber like a dog at the sight of your fries

I'll tell you my order and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that combo meal

Goodness I am hungry alright

I will fill up my dish

Though it may seem obscene

I will eat every bite

Make sure my plate is all clean

Once it's all gone

And another bite I cannot eat

But I am only human

There's still room for one treat

Oh, oh. After. Meal. Sweet treats

Give me dessert 

I'll slobber like a dog at the sight of your pies

That cake looks really good. Just give me a slice

Offer me it à la mode

Goodness I am hungry alright

Give me dessert 

I'll slobber like a dog at the sight of your pies

That cake looks really good. Just give me a slice

Offer me it à la mode

Goodness I am hungry alrigt

We Are The Crystal Gems Parody - We Are Ambassadors

So I made this parody on the spot the other day as a joke. It's pretty short, but it was quite enjoyable to those who knew what I was referencing. I might come back and expand on it one day, but for now this will do.

I work at Amazon now, at CVG2, and I have a position called a Learning Ambassador. The Learning Ambassadors train new hires on how to do their jobs. When I was selected to be an Ambassador, I was selected with three others: Rachel, Damien, and Roger. One day Roger and I were thinking that a group of Ambassadors should have a name. Like a group of crows is a murder, or how a group of rhinos are called a crash. So after much deliberation, we decided that a group of three or more Ambassadors should be called a "Bumble." Management loved our idea. I was bored, just hanging out and talking with Roger and Damien, and this just came out.

Original: We are the Crystal Gems from Steven Universe
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiHavtKvBCg

We are Ambassadors
We'll always teach the way
And we have our Kindles
They tell us what to say
That's why the bumble of CVG2 is
Rachel
Damien
Adam
And Roger!

Save The Last Dance For Me Parody - Children It's Time For Bed

I like to sing to my two children when I'm getting them ready for bed. Unfortunately, due to my work schedule, by the time I pick them up from who's watching them that day and get them home, there is very little time to do things before I get them ready. I feed them dinner almost immediately after arriving home. Then there's about an hour of play time until I start getting them ready; change them, brush their teeth, etc. On bath nights, it's non-stop. My four year old, Jacob, goes to school in the morning at 8. My wife takes him and my 19 month old, Isaac, to school to drop Jacob off while I go to work. So both children need to get up early, and so need to go to bed early. 

Anyway, I sing to them sometimes. And of course I came up with my own lyrics involving their routine using someone else's melody! That's why I'm here, right? Now, while writing this I realized that this parody isn't exactly all that funny. But who says that all parodies have to be, huh?

Original: Save The Last Dance For Me by Michael Buble  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tXUxVWtyaU

Children It's Time For Bed

We can dance
We can sing every night
When the moon is bright
That will be alright.
You can have fun playing with all your toys
While clutching your stuffed animals so tight.

But don't forget that it's supper time
And that you are very hungry.
So children it's time to come and eat.

Oh, I know
That you're energized
From the good times;
You were having fun.
But it's time to wind down
We are going to sleep just like the sun.

But don't forget that you are dirty
Go ahead and laugh while you splash.
So children it's time to take a bath.

Children don't you know I'll care for you?
I'll get you nice and clean and fed
I will be happy to play with you
Until it's time for bed.

We can read
Read a bedtime book
Come and take a look.
You can turn the page.
You're tired. You're rubbing your eyes
At this time it's late for a kid your age.

So don't forget that you're done eating
And who pays your dentist fees.
It's time to brush your teeth.

Oh, I know
That you're energized
From the good times;
You were having fun.
But it's time to wind down
We are going to sleep just like the sun.

So don't forget about your bedtime
And that you must get up early.
So children It's time to go to sleep.

Now don't forget that I'm your daddy
And I love you very much.
Here's a kiss children now it's time for lights off.

Oh, children don't you know how much I love you?
Ooh, I promise you that I will always take care of you.
Here's my last kiss.
Good-night children and sleep tight.

Royals Parody - Winter

I really hate Winter. Don't get me wrong; when it snows, it's beautiful. The air filled with white, and when the ground is covered, it is just a perfect, smooth slate-like canvas of beauty. That's where it stops.

No one likes being cold. I would rather be hot than cold. And everyone says "But in Summer you can only take off so much, but in Winter you just add add add" and so on. NO!! Unless you are two or less feet in front of a fire, you will be cold. In the Summer, get a fan. Jump in a pool, do one-hundred and one other things to get cooled off. It's easy to be cooled off in Summer. It's near impossible to get warm in Winter. So, yeah. There's my argument for one line in my song. But Winter is bad. I have poor blood circulation as it is, so I'm constantly colder than the average person anyway. Add Winter and it's my deathtrap nightmare (wtf?) And it's like it never ends. There are 12 months in the year. Winter takes up 7 to 8 of those months. "Actually, Winter is December 21 to March 21, so it's really only 3 months." SHUT UP! I don't care what the calendar says. When the temperature is freezing, it's Winter. And here in Cincinnati, it's more than half the year. It usually starts in October, and lasts until late April, early May (understanding reasoning for "near last" line). 

Original: Royals by Lorde https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlcIKh6sBtc 

Winter

I really cannot stand this time of year.
When the temperature can drop below zero.
And you see snow flurries in the air.
You look at the ground; all you see is snow.

And pretty soon you're scraping the ice off of your windshield.
Hydroplaning; it is a big deal.
Tell me why some people really love this season.
And just to keep warm you put on layers of your clothes to wear.
Shirts, socks, pants, sweaters, thermal underwear.
What's the point? You're still gonna be chilled to the bone.

Because it is Winter (Winter)
And when the wind blows, it cuts right through your clothes, and gives you a runny nose.
Sit down by the fire (fire)
Try to get warmed up.
But deep down (you know x4) it will never be enough.

You are making steam with your breath.
You will have dry skin, and you will get chapped lips too.
It feels like you're freezing to death.
You shiver and shake, while clenching your jaw and fists.

And pretty soon  the rivers and lakes are all frozen over.
Summer pool party days are all over.
I'll miss those. The heat is always better than the cold.
And it's because it's easier to get cooled off when you are hot.
Everyday is colder than you thought was
Possible. The cold will never give you mercy.

And I really hate Winter (Winter)
It puts up a good fight. Do your best to survive the night when there is no end in your sight.
Throw on some more blankets (blankets)
Conserve your body heat.
Even though (it's clear x4) the Winter will not be beat.

Brrr. Brrr. Brrr-rrr. My lips are frozen to the pole.
Why is it so freaking cold?
Brrr. Brrr. Brrr-rrr. Oh, when will Summer be here?
You got seven months to go my dear.

Oh, I really hate Winter (Winter)
I cannot stand the cold. No matter what I'm told, this grudge I will forever hold.
There's one quick solution (solution)
I will just move away.
I will go (down south x4) and I'll be warm every day.

Lola Parody - Mocha

Who can resist the much desired caffeinated drink of coffee? It wakes us up in the morning and sets us on our way very nicely. The most popular of these drinks is the Mocha Latte Cappuccino. One drop of sugar or two, cream, add any amount of milk, and I ask again: who can resist it? I can. I don't drink coffee and I know nothing about it or how to make it. I'm not even sure what's in a mocha latte cappuccino.

This parody is about my cat Mocha. She is a calico cat with brown fur and a beautiful shade of orange along her back. She looked like a coffee color and we decided to name her Mocha. (Amanda wanted Sage, but our friends on Facebook have spoken).

About halfway through this parody I realized that this is my third song about a cat. Am I the only one who finds that a little strange? None of my other parodies have anything in common other than occasionally having the same artist. Maybe strange is a poor word choice. I'll go with weird, or even kind of cool that three of my songs have a common theme. Perhaps I should post a picture Bailey on that post. By the way, I've gotten over Miharu.

I do want to say just a couple things: Mocha was declawed in only her front paws when we got her. Her previous owners did it to her. Why only her front? Make up a reason and it's right; we have no idea. Also, my son's name is Jacob. Just so you can understand a line better and not wonder who I'm talking about. He's eight months old.

Original: Lola by The Kinks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVXmMMSo47s

Mocha

We picked her up down at the SPCA
Where the animals have their shots and chips already in.
Yes, it is convenient.
She sat very patiently in her cage
Her name was Peek-a-boo, but with just one look we thought "Mocha."
M-O-C-H and A. Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.

Well, I never was a feline guy
But once she sat in my lap I changed my mind
Oh, my Mocha. Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.
And I know she can't hurt me with her claws
'Cause she doesn't have any in her front paws
Oh, poor Mocha. That is sad for Mocha.
Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.

Well, we took her home on that same day
She was happy to go away.
She was afraid of both of us at first
Hiding from us was her doing her worst.

It's a lot of fun having her around
But I don't understand why her tail is never down.
Mocha. That's kind of strange Mocha.
Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha
Mocha. Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha. Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.

She got past her fear.
She made our house home.
She got comfortable.
And she settled in.
She didn't show she would ever leave.

That's just the way it is going to be
And that is just perfectly fine with me
And for Mocha. Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.
Mocha went and made herself the queen
She is indeed the queen; the Feline Queen.
Yes, that is Mocha. Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.

Well, it is going on two years now
And we really love her and she also loves us.
She even loves Jacob too...
Actually, I'm not sure if that part is true.

Well, I know that sometimes I can be lame
So I decided to give her a middle name.
It is Latte. She is Mocha Latte.
Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.

Mocha. Female cat Mocha.
She's a girl cat Mocha.

Mocha. Calico cat Mocha.
The calico Mocha.

Mocha. She's Mocha Latte H.
Yes, Mocha Latte H.

Mocha. Cannot drink our Mocha.
Do not drink our Mocha.

Mocha. Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.
Mo-mo-mo-mo Mocha.

Paparazzi Parody - Limited Time

Yes, another Gaga parody. Say what you want about her craziness, but I happen to like some of her songs. Restaurants are always having certain specials that everyone must have before they are gone either forever or for a short time. The advertisement always says "For a Limited Time Only." This Parody is dedicated to those deals. These deals help us in all honesty. How would we know it's the Lenten season without the fish deals? How would we know when St. Patrick's day was without the Shamrock Shake?
I do understand why these deals happen. For the most part, it makes the company more money at that time. Everyone (supposedly) loves the McRib and everyone gets it when it comes out. I doubt it would be that popular if it was always offered. That's just one example and one reason, but I do understand, but I like to make fun of things; hence PARODY.

Original: Paparazzi by Lady Gaga http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nIvBI2_hSY

Limited Time

We are the crowd
We're ruh-revolting
You are depriving us
Of some delicious food.

It's very tempting
When they come out our hearts sing.

Got the McRib
The Shamrock Shake
We make a mad rush
For them when they come out.

Let's avoid all this
Let us always have our fix.
I just want to question "why?"

We all love the food
It's unfair we can only have it
For a limited time.
Why are you so shy
Let us have it always and not just
For a limited time.

Promise I'll be kind
I'll still love you
When you are always mine.
You are always famous
I don't want to have to chase you
For a limited time.

The pizza places
Different kinds of pies
What was wrong with before
Why did you have to change?

The Big Italy
Is now just a memory.

Oh, Burger King
What are you doing now
You have the King Deals
They last only one day.

Come on, that is weak
Want it more before next week.
Let's stop all of this madness.

Why do you fix  all your prices
And always change your food
For a limited time?
Did you ever think that we
Wanted it for longer than
For a limited time?

I will fill you in
We always want it
When it leaves we cringe
We don't want to track and follow
Where it is being sold
For a limited time.

Lent time they have all the fish deals
Taco Bell: new item every month
Why don't you ever stay
Pure hatred is the price you pay!

I'm your biggest fan
But I can't go wherever you go
For a limited time.
I don't want to ever lose you
But you always say you're
For a limited time.

I still can't let go
Please tell me
I really just want to know
Why do you make people
Go crazy and sell things only
For a limited time?

Wanted Dead or Alive Parody - Always I am Adam

Have you ever wondered what kind of person I am? Probably not. But I decided to make a parody about myself anyway. My likes, my life, what I've done; basically, a very vague description of who I am. Some things are obvious, others are just weird and might not make any sense to some. But it's all true nevertheless.
Sadly, I do want to explain a couple things. 1st. When I say that I have a son and out of my children he's number one, I don't mean that he's my favorite, I mean that he was my first. I only have one child after all - so far.
2nd. I am bad at shaving everyday, but I slightly exaggerate because I think it's funnier.
Lastly, when I wrote this parody I thought the name of the song was Dead or Alive. In keeping with my "same-syllable-count" title, my parody was going to be I am Adam. When I learned that the song was Wanted Dead or Alive, I changed my title to fit the syllables. So, even though I actually never say it in the song, the title is Always I am Adam. I didn't feel like re-writing anything. I could argue that the end kind of says that I'm always Adam, but make your own decision. It is just a title anyway.

Original: Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oot0GtjQuxQ


Always I am Adam

So this is me
In all of my glory
I'll tell you things
That no one else can see.

I've got my flaws
But I've got all of my highs too
I am the last son
Of Bill and Sue.

I am Adam
I really enjoy acting
With a bass voice
Yes I can sing
Glasses, I'm near-sighted.

Sometimes I shave
Sometimes it's not for days
It's sad to tell the days
By the hair on my face.

The only sisters I have
Are my two in-laws
Running the rides at Kings Island
Was my first job.

I am Adam
I have one child; a son
My children (children)
He's number one
A phone (the sax) I used to play.

Oh, I'm Adam

I am Adam
Eight is my favorite number
Green is my (guess what)
Favorite color.

And it is easy
To sing the alphabet backwards
I don't talk too much
I'm a man of few words.

My hair is brown
My eye color is blue
Everything here is 
One-hundred percent true.

I am Adam
I like making parodies
And maybe (one day)
I'll be known for these.

Oh yes, I am Adam
And I really love my wife
And she loves me (loves me)
Dead or alive.

Yeah, that's right
That is right
Dead or alive.

Say again
One more time
Dead or alive.

No matter what
Whether I am
Dead or alive
I am Adam.

Your Song Parody - My Songs

Well, look at that. Three years past. Where has the time gone? I honestly don't think I'm doing too bad. I've made quite a few parodies. I'm glad that I decided to share them with the world. And gee, that's the whole point of this parody. Funny how that works out.

Original: Your Song by Elton John http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13GD78Bmo8s


My Songs

They're a little bit funny
The things that I write.
And even when they're not they
Fight the good fight.
I can't make CDs
But girl if I did
I'd make money and
Happily we'd live.

The parody writer
Huh, is what I've become.
Not a man who can write songs
But instead just makes fun.
I know that my dreams seem unrealistic
Out of all the song writers
I want to get picked.

I've got to tell everybody these are my songs
'Cause what if I don't and everything goes wrong?
And no one ever
And no one ever
No one ever finds me
What'll happen to my creations
My Parodies?

It started simple
A nice fun joke here and there
But it blossomed into
A fun Passion
They all might not be
The best ever written
But there are a few that
Make me think again.

So excuse me forgetting
Some of my lyrics
It's hard to make all of
My ideas stick.
Anyway, maybe one day
My dream will come true
My parodies will all be popular too.

I've got to tell everybody these are my songs
'Cause what if I don't and everything goes wrong?
And no one ever
And no one ever
No one ever finds me
What'll happen to my creations
My Parodies?

And what if no one
And what if no one
No one ever finds me
What'll happen to me creations
My parodies?

Bad Romance Parody - Cool Yo-yo

So, Gaga huh? I'm sure this will spike interest. I wrote this on my birthday, actually. When I was still working at Cinfed. The best I remember is that I just made fun of whatever she was singing in the beginning. The "whoa oh oh" whatever. So, "Yo-yo!" I just make fun of such and outdated toy and have some fun with others. Maybe you love the yo-yo, maybe your childhood is based on ball-in-a-cup; fine. I'm just having fun.

Original: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

Cool Yo-yo

Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
I have a cool yo-yo.
Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
It is a cool yo-yo.

Rah rah rock the cradle.
Around 'round the world.
Wah wah walk the dog
With my cool yo-yo.

Rah rah rock the cradle.
Around 'round the world.
Wah wah walk the dog
With my cool yo-yo.

Listen to me, all girls and boys
Throw away all of your expensive toys
And play with me.
Come, come, come, and play with me.

I have a special toy for everyone.
Some string plus some plastic equals so much fun.
Yo-yos are fun.
Fun, fun, fun, they're so much fun.

You've got to roll with it.
Yes, the pun is intended.
Mine is so cool
Cool yo-yo.

Get rid of them
Throw away all your toys
All you need is a cool yo-yo
(yo-yo-oh-oh-oh)

Just look at me
You know that I'm cool
It is because of my cool yo-yo.

Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
I have a cool yo-yo.
Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
It is a cool yo-yo.

Rah rah rock the cradle.
Around 'round the world.
Wah wah walk the dog
With my cool yo-yo.

I'm not talking 'bout ball-in-a-cup
They are already cool
So now give it up for the yo-yos
Give praise for all the yo-yos.

We're going back to simplicity now.
Some of you are skeptics
You're wondering how can they be fun
Yes, yes, yes, just play with one.

You've got to just try it
And I know that you'll like it
Because they're cool
Cool yo-yos.

You can do it
You can be just like me
All you need is a sweet cool yo-yo
(yo-yo-oh-oh-oh)

We will be awesome
Be the envy of all
'Cause we walk around with cool yo-yos

Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
I have a cool yo-yo.
Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
It is a cool yo-yo.

Rah rah rock the cradle.
Around 'round the world.
Wah wah walk the dog
With my cool yo-yo.

Rah rah rock the cradle.
Around 'round the world.
Wah wah walk the dog
With my cool yo-yo.

Pull the string up
On your finger
Catch it in your hand

Pull the string up
On your finger
Catch it in your hand

Pull the string up
On your finger
Catch it in your hand

Pull the string up
On your finger
It's all in the wrist, baby.

You know I'm cool
I'm the coolest around
When my yo-yo spins
It makes the sweetest sound

There is no French
For the word yo-yo
I don't speak French
So what do I know?

Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
I have a cool yo-yo.
Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
It is a cool yo-yo.
(simultaneously with)
So what do I know?
Tell me, what do I know?
I just don't know
Maybe it's yo-yo!

They are so cool 
I can barely stand it
Oh my gosh, I can't take no more
(yo-yo-oh-oh-oh)

I can see
You don't have what it takes
To be so cool and awesome with me.

Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
I have a cool yo-yo.
Yo-yo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yo-yo
It is a cool yo-yo.

Rah rah rock the cradle.
Around 'round the world.
Wah wah walk the dog
With my cool yo-yo.

Welcome Back

One year gone. Happy two year anniversary. So, I havn't written in a while. Sorry about that. It makes me a little sad that that happened. I've been thinking about it lately, and I'm thinking about starting again. I've written a few parodies since the last time I posted. The last one I wrote was in March 2011. I never posted them, and I don't know why. Remember my Chicken On The Run post? I said I was sad that I hadn't written anything in a while? Well, I'm sad that I stopped Parody Universe and didn't even try to come back. But I've had two years to rest and I've come up with so many song ideas; I just have to make them now. Sadly, I've lost a lot of interest, but I'll try to do this again. I already failed my one-parody-every-week promise, so I'll just say that I'll post when I can. It will be harder for me to write my parodies now. When I worked at Cinfed, I had plenty of time to do whatever when we weren't busy. But I have a new job now that requires constant attention. Basically, I don't have the luxary to stop and write down my ideas.  I may or may not explain how the ideas came or what parts were spontaneous and what was forced. I don't even remember for the most part. I'll just write what comes to mind.

Let me say a few things and straighten out some loose ends. I'm still not techno savvy, so I still can't make videos or real songs of my parodies, even though that would be cool. Also, Amanda and I are married now! Yay! And we even have a son too! I never did this when it actually happened, so I'll do it now: Danielle, thank you so much for your comments. I always like to read them and it makes me happy that you like my parodies. I especially thank you for your comment on Slutty In The USA; it always makes my smile. Again, thank you. I'd thank Haily too for her two comments, but she's not here anymore. Lastly, thank you too, Captain. You did comment and I won't forget it. It was a good ego boost.

Alright. Let's get this underway. Welcome back to Parody Universe!

Hey Jude Parody - Hey Dude

In all honesty, the whole idea of this parody came from Amanda when we had been dating for a year or two. If we watch a movie at home, and it's a movie we've both seen, we usually talk through it and make fun of it or just talk about it. If we have not seen it, I like to watch it and still talk about it a little and make some fun of it, but still watch most of it. Amanda would want to talk about other off-topics with nothing to do with the movie. At the theaters, talking is not an option; except for Amanda. So I told her my annoyance of her talking and she said I should tell her when I annoyed her. "You should tell me to stop." She said. "Just turn to me and go, 'Dude, stop talking.' You have to say 'Dude' though or it won't work." Then she started singing "Hey dude, leave me alone. I am trying..." And years later I decided to complete her joke. She made up the first two lines herself and the rest took some time to come up with.

Original: Hey Jude by The Beatles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDdI7GhZSQA



Hey Dude

Hey dude, please stop talking
I am trying to watch this movie
I cannot hear what is being said
And I dread missing key plot points

Hey dude, leave me alone
I am trying to pay attention
Why do you insist on talking to me
Can't you please just leave me alone

This is one thing that I hate. Hey dude, please wait
I will talk to you when I am free
For well you know I don't want to just ignore you
But I really don't want to talk now
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

Hey dude, you can do it
I know you have the ability
All you have to do is shut your mouth
And keep your thoughts to yourself

Just wait for a better time. Hey dude, be kind
This is not the time nor the place
And don't you know that's it's just you? Dude, get a clue
You don't hear anybody else talking
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah yeah

Hey dude, please stop talking
I am trying to watch this movie
I will talk to you after "The End"
But until then, please leave me
Alone alone alone alone alone alone yeah!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hey dude!
(Etc.)

Dancing Queen Parody - Glofing King

So, I was going to go golfing one day, and the day before this idea popped in my head. The title was spontaneous and as I was golfing, the rest of the song came to me pretty easily. That's all.

Original: Dancing Queen by Abba http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REElUors1pQ

Golfing King

You can swing
You can putt
Mostly you rely on luck
Set that tee
Make your swing
You are the golfing king

Waking up at the crack of dawn
Strapping your bag of golf clubs on
Make sure you have your drivers
And your putters too
And ten different irons
You don't want to shoot into trees
Land in water, sand traps, or weeds
Then you have to choose your club
Which one will you use
A wedge or 9 iron
Show when it is your turn

You are the golfing king
You're the guy
With that super swing
Golfing king
Listen to all the birdies sing (Golf pun)
Miss water
And sand traps
Get on the fareway or past (Please)
All your hits
Promising
You are the golfing king

You're on the green looking cocky
You got there in one shot not three
Shooting under one-hundred
Isn't hard to do
You think you should go pro
Then everyone will know

You are the golfing king
There's something
You are not telling
Golfing king
You're so good it's almost sickening (But hey)
Titlest
Pinnicall
Callaway, Top Flight, Maxwell
Choose your ball
Make it zing
You are the golfing king
Hail the golfing king

Ticking Parody - Loving

Now this was a milestone! I thought Bohemian Rhapsody would be an accomplishment, then Hotel California, but Ticking is so long that I never imagined I could do it. Also, it's a long story as well. So here is my attempt at a longer story. "Screaming for a wife" to "You kissed...to you" was spontaneous and everything else was thought of at work. The first few lines came easily, but it was the last few before the "chorus" that took a while. The syllables just wouldn't cooperate. Nine hours is a long enough time to wrap my mind around a parody and put it all together.


Original: Ticking by Elton John http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So15b6XNuK0



Loving

"An extremely loving child" is what your family always say
"He's always given out cards to kids on Valentine's Day"
So what is the reason that you have never gotten wed?
Your parents are worried you may be messed up in the head

It's not like you have never tried; it is quite the contrary
You have asked many girls out, but got shot down to your dismay
You have never been on a date in all your life
And every single day you always hear your mother gripe

"I want a little girl now" mama said
Remember mama said
Loving, loving
"Get to it; find a wife
Give me a daughter"
Do it, do it, loving, loving

There you were crying in a downtown bar screaming for a wife
Some goof said "He's just love sick. He needs to get a life"
You kissed a pretty lady who came way too close to you
Oh she did not appreciate that too much and she slapped you

Promising to find love before the day was done
But as you walked away from the bar, your reality dawned (it dawned)
You have tried your whole life, why would today be different
You decided it was useless and you gave up on it

"Now I'll never get grandchildren" mama said
Remember mama said
Loving, loving
"Everyone in the world can do it
Why can't you?"
Do it, do it, loving, loving

You called your best friend Jesse, knowing you would not be made fun of
You cried and complained for so long about your troubles to find your love
Then Jesse said "How about this: why don't you marry me?"
That statement made you see the obvious: that Jesse was a she

"I have loved you ever since I met you, but you couldn't tell"
And then you knew, in your heart, you wanted her as well
After all this time, here it was. You finally had your shot
The story of two best friends who secretly loved each other was so hot

"We're not getting any younger" mama said
Remember mama said
Loving, loving
"What are you waiting for? Propose, get married and start your life"
Do it, do it, loving, loving

Magic Parody - Vowels

This parody is a prime example of my spontaneity. I was just driving along one night, just delivering some pizza, Magic came on, and the words just fell in. I can honestly say that I have no idea where the idea came from, the words just came to me. So, the first chorus, the first line in each chorus, the first verse, "what are the vowels in your name", and the part about "Y" was spontaneous. The little bit left was thought of.

Original: Magic by Pilot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iiryJwvDtc

Vowels

Six fantastic letters
The vowels
They're the most important ones
The vowels. You know
We can't make words without them

"A" is the first one.
A word all by itself
And "E" is the most popular one
Then there is "I"
A very special one.
When it is alone it is capitalized

Six amazing letters
The vowels
We cannot live without them
The vowels. You know
What are the vowels in your name

"O" and "U" are there
They're used discreetly
They are kind of weird and used oddly
But then there is "Y"
It is the outcast
It is only a vowel as a last resort

Six wonderful letters
The vowels
What did we do before them
The vowels. You know
Who even invented them

A, E, I, O, U, Y
The vowels
We use them all of the time
The vowels. Just look
At all the vowels in this song

Rocket Man Parody - Banker Man

Now that you know my night job is a delivery driver for Pizza Hut, it's only fair to tell you my morning job. I am a teller at Cinfed Credit Union. I told someone at work that I write parodies, and she told me I should make one of Rocket Man by Elton John. I told her that I tried, but with no luck. She gave me an idea by saying I should make Socket Man. So during work and my drive home I thought about electrical stuff, like an electrical socket. I told this idea to Amanda and spontaneously I thought "Hey, what about me. What about Banker Man?" So, that happened. And the next day at work I thought of the rest of this song. The chorus was spontaneous as was the last two lines. Ironically, I wrote it down (and now posting it) in my free time.

Original: Rocket Man by Elton John http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GAKOLOnfV4

Banker Man

Opened the doors at nine: on time
Already, costumers.
And they want me to help them
Oh, the nerve
But I guess that's my job here at Cinfed
It's too early for this
I wanted to just stay in bed

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until I get to have some more free time
With all these members wanting to know their balances
I'm a banker man
Banker man, making the transactions all day long

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until I get to have some more free time
With all these members wanting to know their balances
I'm a banker man
Banker man, making the transactions all day long

Cashier Checks, bonds, coin vouchers, checks on us
All different paperwork
And you need to know how to type them all in
But many things are just plain confusing
A lot of memorization
Oh, Banker man
Banker man

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until I get to have some more free time
With all these members wanting to know their balances
I'm a banker man
Banker man, making the transactions all day long

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until I get to have some more free time
With all these members wanting to know their balances
I'm a banker man
Banker man, making the transactions all day long

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
And it might not be as long as I I thought
And I kind of have some free time right right now
So I guess that I will just sing my my song
I don't know what I'm doing anymore
Maybe I'll balance the money in my drawer

Sundown Parody - Daybreak

Well, it took me a bit longer to recover from my surgery than I thought. A lot happens in three weeks. One of the Pizza Huts that I work at, the one that hired me, closed down and nobody called me. So I have some more free time. Yay.

The title for this parody was the first spontaneous part of this parody. Just the opposite of Lightfoot's title. And then I went on to describe the entire day. "We've been through the day" was the only other spontaneous part. I hope you enjoy it.

Original: Sundown by Gordon Lightfoot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8rR7E6NfY4

Daybreak

I wake up in the morning when the day is new

And in the crisp morning air the ground is covered in dew

Daybreak I see the sunrise

The first sight of dawn is very nice

Daybreak I see the sunrise

The first sight of dawn is very nice

I've been working all day in the blistering heat

I'm not even halfway done but I'm already beat

Noon high the sun is so hot

I need to find some water so I can cool off

Noon high the sun is so hot

I need to find some water so I can cool off

I want to sit down in my favorite chair

And watch some T.V shows without a single care

Twilight it's time to relax

Time to settle down and rest my aching back

Twilight it's time to relax

Time to settle down and rest my aching back

But alas everything must come to an end

Got to wait 'til tomorrow just to do it again

Daybreak I see the sunrise

The first sight of dawn is very nice

Noon high the sun is so hot

I need to find some water so I can cool off

Twilight it's time to relax

Time to settle down and rest my aching back

First star the end of the day

I'm really tired now so I guess I'll just hit the hay.

A Tear in the Fabric of the Universe

Alright. I don't even know if anyone is reading my parodies anymore, so maybe this won't affect anyone. But just in case, I'll post this.

Today is Monday the 21, in two days I am going to have jaw surgery. My jaw will be broken and re-aligned. I'm supposed to be inactive for three weeks; I need to do nothing assertive. I don't know how incapacitated I'll be, so I don't know when I'll be feeling up to posting again. It might be by Friday the 25, it might be July 15 at the end of my three weeks. I don't know, we'll just have to wait and see. My hope is that I'll make up some new parodies during my absence (I only have 4 written in advance now). Either which way, for anyone keeping up, I'm not stopping Parody Universe just yet, I'm taking a....vacation we'll call it.

See ya all when I come back!

Summer of '69 Parody - The Best Songs of My Life

Hello friends! I'm cutting this one close to the end of the week, but life's been hectic. A lot is going on and I've been focusing on reality instead of fantasy lately. I'll explain more in my next post.
I changed the word guitar to piano, because the piano is my favorite instrument. If I had the time and patience, I would love to learn how to play it. Bryan Adams had the same type of wording as my title, but it wasn't his title. I like my use of the wordings better, so the title isn't in the same place. (I know what I'm talking about and that last statement was confusing to me). Anyway, the first two lines were spontaneous and the rest was thought of.

Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f06QZCVUHg(not too sure about the ending...)

The Best Songs of My Life

I got my first piano
Got it at the guitar store
Now I know what you're thinking
Why was it in that kind of store
I'm not exactly sure
What it was doing there
But there is one thing I do know
I really did not care
Well I just sat down
And played some of my favorite songs
Heart and Soul and Chopsticks
And I played them for oh so long
Those were the best songs of my life
I knew I had to buy it
But it was so expensive
Seven-thousand freaking dollars
But I needed it to live
I know that sounds dramatic
But the piano was very cool
And as an added bonus
Now I couldn't pay to go to school
I played the best songs of my life
Oh yeah! Just playing my piano. Oohh!
I played it for a long time
I learned to play some new songs
I learned to play all mine
I hope all my songs last forever
And never fade! Yeah!
And now the music's changing
All of the songs are getting remixed
Sometimes I will play my classics
Heart and Soul and Chopsticks
Yes the piano cost much
But there's one thing that I need to know
Was it ever worth it
I like to believe it was so
I played the best songs of my life
Oh yeah! Just playing my piano.
Uh-huh. Just playing my piano.
Oh yeah! Me and my awesome piano.
Oohh! Oh!
I was just playing, playing, playing my piano.
Oh yeah.

Dear Prudence Parody - Miharu

What? Two Beatles parodies back to back? I've never done anything like this before! I'm going crazy!!

Last summer, the summer of 2009, a friend of mine went back to his home in Japan for the summer. He asked me if I would stay at his apartment here and look after his cat, Miharu. Miharu (me-huh-roo) is a Japanese word meaning "Beautiful Spring." Miharu was a pretty cool cat. She was a calico which is a pretty rare breed of cat. Males are so rare that you could sell one for $5,000, but Miharu was a female. At first, Miharu was afraid of me (but she was afraid of everyone), and I didn't care for her too much either. I thought she was annoying; always meowing and never being quiet. After a while, Miharu warmed up to me. She started coming to me and letting me pet her. My friend said that I shouldn't let her go outside because he used to, but one time she ran away for three days and came back sick. But that was right before I moved in, so Miharu always cried to go out, and I finally gave in. So she stopped whining so much and I didn't think she was so annoying anymore. About halfway through the summer, Miharu started sleeping with me; all cuddled up in my arm or using my back-knees as a wall. I cannot express how much I loved that cat by the end. It was only for about three and a half months, but I loved that cat. I still do...which is kind of hard.


My friend came back and I told him that let Miharu out and she always came back. So, he decided that it was alright. Well, about a month or two after he came home, Miharu ran away again...but she never came back. Most likely, she is...gone to say it nicely. But I can't bring myself to think that. I like to believe that she is still alive and maybe someone thought she was a stray and took her in. (Yeah, Miharu never had a collar, so...) Amanda and I always like to joke that Miharu ran away from my friend because she missed me and went looking for me. Maybe, just maybe, she will find me one day.


Well, maybe some of you you decided to read the first couple of sentences and decided to skip the rest. It's fine. I like to write in case you never figured that out - I am writhing a blog. But anyway, this parody is for Miharu. A song I wish she could hear and understand. I thought of it one night when I was with Amanda and a friend of hers called her up while we were driving and they started talking. I knew I wasn't going anywhere in a while so I tried to come up with a new parody. There was a Burger King across the street, and the syllables matched up. Sometime during that wreck Miharu popped into my head and it worked out. It was a good idea to have a good-bye song for the cat I loved, I thought.
The first line in every verse except for the last one was spontaneous and so was the bridge.



Original: Dear Prudence by The Beatles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-2lMstw6qs

Miharu

Miharu, where have you gone?
Miharu, what about all of our fun?
You ran away. Was it for me?
I'm touched if that is how you feel.
Miharu, where is it you have gone?

Miharu, won't you come back?
Miharu, without you my life lacks
A fun little, feline friend.
Will you live with me again?
Miharu, won't you please come back?

Oh, meow, purr, meow, purr, meow, purr, meow
Oh, meow, purr, meow, purr, meow, purr, meow
Oh, me-ee-ow purr

Miharu, there are tears in my eyes.
Miharu, are you still alive?
I do believe you are out there
Living happily somewhere.
Miharu, there are tears in my eyes.

Miharu, run free my friend.
Miharu, I guess this is the end.
I never got to say good-bye
This song will just have to suffice.
Miharu, run free now my friend.

Let It Be Parody - Let It Rain

I really like The Beatles' song Let It Be; it's my favorite song right now. (I change my favorite song like, every year or so). But, I found it disappointing that I hadn't made a parody of it yet. Late one night I was just singing it and putting nonsense into it and started thinking about how I wished it would rain. Then I had a flashback of a young boy of 12 who did not want to cut the grass. In his creativity he tried to make it rain by singing a song, rather, a parody. I thought that was cool. I had completely forgot about those words I spoke many years before. So, my first parody so far was this one technically. But I only made up the first chorus then. Now, from that, I created the rest of the song. Everything was thought of except the last verse. The last 5 lines aren't in Let It Be, but I added it for my parody. Ironically, it never rained when I sang it in my younger days. But after I finished this parody, it rained for three days straight. And it seems to rain the next day whenever I sing it now.

Original: Let It Be by The Beatles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajCYQL8ouqw

Let It Rain
When It's time for me to cut all my grass
And I don't want the tired pain
Cleanse the Earth with water

Let it rain

I know it just postpones it

But I got out of doing it today
Cleanse the Earth with water
Let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Cleanse the Earth with water
Let it Rain
And when there's all those people
Who say rain takes happiness away
Never quiet your voice
Let it rain

For though they're narrow minded
And they think that you may be insane
Never quiet your voice
Let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Never quiet your voice
Let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Cleanse the Earth with water
Let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Cleanse the Earth with water
Let it rain
And when the night is cloudy
I know that it will happen again
With a clash of thunder
Let it rain
I wake up to the sound of water
Falling on my window pane
And I smile saying
Let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Cleanse the Earth with water
Let it rain

Let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
Never quiet your voice
Let it rain
With a clash of thunder
Cleanse the Earth with water
Never quiet your voice
Just smile and say
Let it rain. Let it rain.