Royals Parody - Winter

I really hate Winter. Don't get me wrong; when it snows, it's beautiful. The air filled with white, and when the ground is covered, it is just a perfect, smooth slate-like canvas of beauty. That's where it stops.

No one likes being cold. I would rather be hot than cold. And everyone says "But in Summer you can only take off so much, but in Winter you just add add add" and so on. NO!! Unless you are two or less feet in front of a fire, you will be cold. In the Summer, get a fan. Jump in a pool, do one-hundred and one other things to get cooled off. It's easy to be cooled off in Summer. It's near impossible to get warm in Winter. So, yeah. There's my argument for one line in my song. But Winter is bad. I have poor blood circulation as it is, so I'm constantly colder than the average person anyway. Add Winter and it's my deathtrap nightmare (wtf?) And it's like it never ends. There are 12 months in the year. Winter takes up 7 to 8 of those months. "Actually, Winter is December 21 to March 21, so it's really only 3 months." SHUT UP! I don't care what the calendar says. When the temperature is freezing, it's Winter. And here in Cincinnati, it's more than half the year. It usually starts in October, and lasts until late April, early May (understanding reasoning for "near last" line). 

Original: Royals by Lorde https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlcIKh6sBtc 

Winter

I really cannot stand this time of year.
When the temperature can drop below zero.
And you see snow flurries in the air.
You look at the ground; all you see is snow.

And pretty soon you're scraping the ice off of your windshield.
Hydroplaning; it is a big deal.
Tell me why some people really love this season.
And just to keep warm you put on layers of your clothes to wear.
Shirts, socks, pants, sweaters, thermal underwear.
What's the point? You're still gonna be chilled to the bone.

Because it is Winter (Winter)
And when the wind blows, it cuts right through your clothes, and gives you a runny nose.
Sit down by the fire (fire)
Try to get warmed up.
But deep down (you know x4) it will never be enough.

You are making steam with your breath.
You will have dry skin, and you will get chapped lips too.
It feels like you're freezing to death.
You shiver and shake, while clenching your jaw and fists.

And pretty soon  the rivers and lakes are all frozen over.
Summer pool party days are all over.
I'll miss those. The heat is always better than the cold.
And it's because it's easier to get cooled off when you are hot.
Everyday is colder than you thought was
Possible. The cold will never give you mercy.

And I really hate Winter (Winter)
It puts up a good fight. Do your best to survive the night when there is no end in your sight.
Throw on some more blankets (blankets)
Conserve your body heat.
Even though (it's clear x4) the Winter will not be beat.

Brrr. Brrr. Brrr-rrr. My lips are frozen to the pole.
Why is it so freaking cold?
Brrr. Brrr. Brrr-rrr. Oh, when will Summer be here?
You got seven months to go my dear.

Oh, I really hate Winter (Winter)
I cannot stand the cold. No matter what I'm told, this grudge I will forever hold.
There's one quick solution (solution)
I will just move away.
I will go (down south x4) and I'll be warm every day.